Pretzel Champions

by Countless Thousands

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about

Written and recorded in the eye of a storm in only 24 hours. We like to tempt fate.

credits

released January 15, 2017

Recorded and mixed at Track Cult

Davey Munch - Ba$$
Danger Van Gorder - Vox & Guitar & Cuddles
Light Return - Vox & Guitar & Kava Tea
Jon David - Drums & Engineering

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about

Countless Thousands Long Beach, California

Take a show choir reject who was never cool enough for punk rock, throw him a rockabilly axe and have him cash in on all the poetry classes. Take an east coast jazz legend and tell him to lay off the diminished chording and step up the distortion. Take a civil war reenacting drum geek and sit him down behind a proper kit. What do these nerds come up with? Total badassery. ... more

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Track Name: An Umbrella for the Golden Shower
Oh no
A country stolen
"Couldn't ever happen, shouldn't ever happen"
anything can happen when you're golden
Hold tight to a fragile neck
Check your respect at the door think of who you're fighting for
see his face in the mirror and the polished marble floor

Orange man, tiny hands, you're a cancer
Orange man, an embarrassment of chance, you're,
Orange man you will answer for what you've done
God preserve us from this sick, deluded narcissist.
A rapist brags that he has grabbed the sun.

Oh no
a country broken
another broken toy this spoiled child will throw away
but we stand, unite, resist
put this custard-flavored onion stain back in his fucking place

Orange man, tiny hands, you're a cancer
Orange man, an embarrassment of chance, you're,
Orange man you will answer for what you've done
God preserve us from this sick, deluded narcissist.
A rapist brags that he has grabbed the sun.

See you at the Hague
Track Name: Sunday Best
Stand up straight - you're in your sunday best, you need to present it.
All our neighbors will be there in theirs.
I'm not upset, but child, your questions are impertinent.
Our fathers made this way of life.

Now sing, lest you swing, child.
Say what we say when we say it.
There is only one path to the Harvest.
Your innocence fades.
Your limbs get long.
You have one chance to learn our song
so sing and don't wrinkle your sunday best.

Hide your shame.
Hide it with pride and faith, for love everlasting.
Good children don't need a reward.
For the final time, i'm not upset, your salvation's your own task.
Think well on the rock in your hand.
Track Name: Happy Birthday
YOU LOOK GOOD

See you walking up, got a smile, a secret for you.
Ah, nothing rude - i dig your new shoes.
I heard through the net that it's your birthday soon -
aw, shit, that's cool. What'd you want to do?
I'll designated drive if you need me to.

Got a whiskey with ice with your name on the side
Gotta high five and jump at the right time
Snap that pic, send it into the world
you're a gift that you gave to the world
You're the Birthday Boy or the Birthday Girl

You were right about that new band you told me about -
hey, good looking out.
that crisp taste, no doubt.
Looking rad and precise in that sharp suit or dress.
Color this kid impressed.
you always do look your best (and that can't be easy).

Got a whiskey with ice with your name on the side
Gotta high five and jump at the right time
Snap that pic, send it into the world
you're a gift that you gave to the whole damn world
You're the Birthday Boy or the Birthday Girl


See you walking up, got a smile, a secret for you.
Ah, nothing rude - i dig your new shoes.
Where'd you get them, DSW?
I heard through the net that it's your birthday soon -
aw, shit, that's cool.
I'll designated drive if you need me to.
just have fun and be safe.
Track Name: Knights of Polite
Blast off!

Here they come just in time

In defense of!

A better social paradigm

Well there they go,

Oh!

They are the first ones to fight,

They are the Knights of Polite!



We insist upon rational discussions

Proper etiquette and measured repercussions

Wielding fair insight, we will fight

This we uphold, we are the Knights of Polite!



Watch out!

When theres no recourse but war

Just wait!

They've got some parfait in store

Well there they go,

Oh!

Sounds like a scrumptious delight

Yea from the Knights of Polite!



The Knights of Polite hope you like parfait too

Well there they go,

Oh!

If you don't like parfait well they might not know what to do



Evil doers beware!

They've got compassion

and empathy to spare!

And an 80's sense of fashion

There they go,

Oh!

They are the Knights of Polite!



We insist upon rational discussions

Proper etiquette and measured repercussions

Wielding fair insight, we will fight

This we uphold, we are the Knights of Polite!



Wait!

Someone brought up politics and religion too,

And I know my evangelical cousin voted Trump in….

What do I do?



Just then!

All hope has started to fade

Thats when!

The Paladins of Courtesy invade

Well here they come,

Oh!

They are the Knights of Polite!



We insist upon rational discussions

Proper etiquette and measured repercussions

Wielding fair insight, we will fight

This we uphold, we are the Knights of Polite!