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Pretzel Champions

by Countless Thousands

/
1.
Oh no A country stolen "Couldn't ever happen, shouldn't ever happen" anything can happen when you're golden Hold tight to a fragile neck Check your respect at the door think of who you're fighting for see his face in the mirror and the polished marble floor Orange man, tiny hands, you're a cancer Orange man, an embarrassment of chance, you're, Orange man you will answer for what you've done God preserve us from this sick, deluded narcissist. A rapist brags that he has grabbed the sun. Oh no a country broken another broken toy this spoiled child will throw away but we stand, unite, resist put this custard-flavored onion stain back in his fucking place Orange man, tiny hands, you're a cancer Orange man, an embarrassment of chance, you're, Orange man you will answer for what you've done God preserve us from this sick, deluded narcissist. A rapist brags that he has grabbed the sun. See you at the Hague
2.
Sunday Best 02:00
Stand up straight - you're in your sunday best, you need to present it. All our neighbors will be there in theirs. I'm not upset, but child, your questions are impertinent. Our fathers made this way of life. Now sing, lest you swing, child. Say what we say when we say it. There is only one path to the Harvest. Your innocence fades. Your limbs get long. You have one chance to learn our song so sing and don't wrinkle your sunday best. Hide your shame. Hide it with pride and faith, for love everlasting. Good children don't need a reward. For the final time, i'm not upset, your salvation's your own task. Think well on the rock in your hand.
3.
YOU LOOK GOOD See you walking up, got a smile, a secret for you. Ah, nothing rude - i dig your new shoes. I heard through the net that it's your birthday soon - aw, shit, that's cool. What'd you want to do? I'll designated drive if you need me to. Got a whiskey with ice with your name on the side Gotta high five and jump at the right time Snap that pic, send it into the world you're a gift that you gave to the world You're the Birthday Boy or the Birthday Girl You were right about that new band you told me about - hey, good looking out. that crisp taste, no doubt. Looking rad and precise in that sharp suit or dress. Color this kid impressed. you always do look your best (and that can't be easy). Got a whiskey with ice with your name on the side Gotta high five and jump at the right time Snap that pic, send it into the world you're a gift that you gave to the whole damn world You're the Birthday Boy or the Birthday Girl See you walking up, got a smile, a secret for you. Ah, nothing rude - i dig your new shoes. Where'd you get them, DSW? I heard through the net that it's your birthday soon - aw, shit, that's cool. I'll designated drive if you need me to. just have fun and be safe.
4.
Blast off! Here they come just in time In defense of! A better social paradigm Well there they go, Oh! They are the first ones to fight, They are the Knights of Polite! We insist upon rational discussions Proper etiquette and measured repercussions Wielding fair insight, we will fight This we uphold, we are the Knights of Polite! Watch out! When theres no recourse but war Just wait! They've got some parfait in store Well there they go, Oh! Sounds like a scrumptious delight Yea from the Knights of Polite! The Knights of Polite hope you like parfait too Well there they go, Oh! If you don't like parfait well they might not know what to do Evil doers beware! They've got compassion and empathy to spare! And an 80's sense of fashion There they go, Oh! They are the Knights of Polite! We insist upon rational discussions Proper etiquette and measured repercussions Wielding fair insight, we will fight This we uphold, we are the Knights of Polite! Wait! Someone brought up politics and religion too, And I know my evangelical cousin voted Trump in…. What do I do? Just then! All hope has started to fade Thats when! The Paladins of Courtesy invade Well here they come, Oh! They are the Knights of Polite! We insist upon rational discussions Proper etiquette and measured repercussions Wielding fair insight, we will fight This we uphold, we are the Knights of Polite!

about

Written and recorded in the eye of a storm in only 24 hours. We like to tempt fate.

credits

released January 15, 2017

Recorded and mixed at Track Cult

Davey Munch - Ba$$
Danger Van Gorder - Vox & Guitar & Cuddles
Light Return - Vox & Guitar & Kava Tea
Jon David - Drums & Engineering

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Countless Thousands Glendale, California

Take a show choir reject who was never cool enough for punk rock, throw him a rockabilly axe and have him cash in on all the poetry classes. Take an east coast jazz legend and tell him to lay off the weirder chords and step up the distortion. Take a cosplay nerd and give him +2 Charisma, +5 Vocalwork and +5 Shreddage. Mix well and serve immediately for total badassery. ... more

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