Excellent Horse​-​Like Lady (USA Version)

by Countless Thousands

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about

We'll never really know what the hell is going on in North Korea. In 2013 we heard a rumor that Hyon Sung-Wol, ex-galpal of humanoid pumpkin Kim Jong-Un and the propaganda-pop singer sensation behind such classics as "She is A Discharged Soldier", "We Are Troop of the Party" and the sublimely titled "Excellent Horse-Like Lady", was executed for pornography charges. That was the beginning and the end of the information, and we have since listened to the propaganda insane-a-thon masterpiece "Excellent Horse-Like Lady" maybe a hundred times, either because the video is hilarious, or because it's maybe a decent song, or because there's some sophisticated mind-control techniques that North Korea dumped like thirty percent of their Gross Domestic Product developing to get the american devils to like their tunes. Either way, this song is an ode to a woman we thought murdered and to a regime that is basically the lumpy dude at the party that totally thinks he's pulling off that sweet Ed Hardy tank top. And it's our way of saying we don't really give a shit about North Korean copyright law.

Also, because it should be said directly every once in a while: The North Korean government is fucking stupid.

lyrics

You dash round your factory. Thread spinning, spool stacked so neat.
Never tiring, your textile soft like baby.
Your workload is furious pace. Achieve with excited face.
You are Excellent Horse-Like Lady.

Productive dance through machine. “We are troops of the party”, sing.
So inspiring, factory comrade give you bouquet.
Dear Leader gave you a steed. All praise for your labor speed.
For the glory of Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

And Kim Jung Un is classic handsome man,
Relationship with him I understand, but I
Wish you were with me. You’d boost my labor speed,
Boost ideology.
And when Dear Leader pass you fade away
And Great Successor new bringer of day
As I watch your YouTube loop. It’s all I have of you.
Which slows my labor speed.

Then we hear awful story. Unconfirmed and so grisly.
You made porno, executed, firing squad.
None say if certain and true, but consumed as I am of you,
For a moment labor speed slow to a stop.

For I am cross the sea so far away
And only know what Dennis Rodman say.
But he don’t care to know if YouTube happy glow still animate your eye.
and Pyongyang is serene this time of year
But I remain away with homeland fear
Because I don’t want to die
If I too softly cry
When Dear Leader casket go rolling by.
Oh, Hyon Sung-Wol

You dash round your factory. Thread spinning, spool stacked so neat.
Never tiring, your textile soft like baby.
Your workload is furious pace. Achieve with excited face.
You are Excellent Horse-Like Lady.

credits

released 19 December 2014

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Countless Thousands Long Beach, California

Take a show choir reject who was never cool enough for punk rock, throw him a rockabilly axe and have him cash in on all the poetry classes. Take an east coast jazz legend and tell him to lay off the diminished chording and step up the distortion. Take a civil war reenacting drum geek and sit him down behind a proper kit. What do these nerds come up with? Total badassery. ... more

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